


Who am I without you?

by skyfulloflove



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Other, Panic Attacks, Protective Alex Danvers, Protective Kara Danvers, Supportive Kara Danvers, Supportive Sister Alex Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 10:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyfulloflove/pseuds/skyfulloflove
Summary: This is based on what I think was going through Kara’s mind after the mind-wipe in 4x10.





	Who am I without you?

**Author's Note:**

> You can perceive this as platonic or romantic, whichever you want. I think their relationship is the most important either way.

I left. 

All I can think about is how I left.

When she needed me the most, I left.

Alex, the most important person in the world to me, needed me, and I didn’t stay.

I wish I could go back now, tell her everything would be okay. 

Tell her one last time how much I love her, how much she means to me.

.....it’s too late now. 

I should have been there for her.

I left when she needed me the most.

I can’t take that back.

When I should have been comforting her; my sister, the strongest person I know, was comforting me. 

For years, no matter the case, she was comforting me.

This time, I should have been comforting her.

About to have her memories erased, a huge part of her taken away, I can’t imagine what she must have felt.

Wrong.

I could.

I did.

I do.

My sister, the one person I could always count on, was being taken away from me.

In the blink of an eye, she wouldn’t know who I was. 

Her memories, everything she knew.

The only person I could always trust, wouldn’t know who I was.

And then it hit me.

My Alex. 

My sister.

My protecter.

My everything.

She would be gone.

She wouldn’t be my Alex anymore. 

I couldn’t do it.

I left not because I didn’t want to be there for her, but because I didn’t know how to stay.

Lying to my sister everyday.

Pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

How could I possibly keep this kind of secret from the person I love the most?

How could I go on knowing I couldn’t be honest with her?

What would she think when I made up excuses about where I had to go?

Would she resent me?

Would this tear us apart?

I didn’t know what to do. 

My mind went someplace else.

I quickly ran out of J’onn’s office and into the street. 

Crashed open the door. Not paying attention to a single thing.

I felt the air, but I couldn’t breathe. 

Suddenly, I’m on my knees.

I don’t know what’s happening.

There’s a name for it, but I can’t remember. 

It’s not a new feeling. It’s familiar, usual even.

Days of Alex rushing home when she could feel my panic.

When I called her without even saying a single word.

An instinct only Alex knew. 

Panic.

That was it.

Panic attack.

For years I had them.

When I first arrived on earth... and even now, when something scared me so deeply that I couldn’t breathe. 

Alex, she knew. 

She knew exactly how I felt, because she could feel my pain. 

Before I knew it, she’d be there holding me. 

Me, shaking, my sister there with me.

It was terrifying being stuck in my own mind. 

But it’d be okay because I’d have her.

The Alex I knew.

The Alex who loved me.

The Alex who could sense my panic before the attack. 

The Alex who knew exactly how to calm me down.

The Alex who would drop everything just to make sure I was okay. 

The Alex who dedicated her life to keeping me safe.

It was her.

Years of her calming me down from my nightmares. 

Years of her sleeping over just so she could comfort me.

Years of her helping me through my pain.

It was always her. 

She was always there.

She was my hero.

I wouldn’t have her anymore. 

No one to protect me, to tell me that everything would be okay.

And in an instant, I knew it.

I was no longer Supergirl, no longer the girl of steel... I was alone.


End file.
